A Different Kind of Hurt
by abdon-zamudio
Summary: Destiel fic 3 Reviews would be greatly appreciated, as I am a new writer. Please be nice.


Dean Winchester was five years old and sitting by his brother's bedside, explaining to him that everything would be alright and he didn't have to keep crying all night. Sammy, the said little brother, clung onto Dean's every word and even if he didn't understand him, he knew what he meant. Dean took stuffed animals and set them as sentries at the closet door and the door to his nursery.

It was getting quiet- everything seemed peaceful, and Dean went to his bedroom. He stared out the window and he was content. This was the last time Dean could ever remember being at peace. Every moment after that was complete chaos. Dean closed his eyes and sank under the covers.

Lucifer had a plan to defend himself. He knew Castiel would become Dean Winchester's protector. Lucifer knew what was in store, so he set plans of his own into motion. He was already making human allies and spies as Brett Kennedy, the handsome, unbearably charming entrepreneur. With a little help from his friends (Lucifer wasn't aware that he didn't really have "friends"), he would easily dismantle any grand plans God had of saving humanity. At least he was very confident of this fact.

So Azazel, a very powerful demon, slunk into the Winchester household on the same night Castiel was brought to Cecilia. He stood above Sam's nursery and cut his hand, letting three drops of his demon blood fall into Sammy's mouth. Demon blood is akin to poison, only extremely slow.

Mary walked into the nursery, and whispered, "John?"

Azazel laughed harshly and slammed her body at an unbelievable force into the ceiling. It was strange, but she didn't die on impact. She screamed and called for her husband, who rushed in the room. It was too late though. Mary was on fire, the whole nursery was on fire. Dean was already awake and he rushed up to the nursery.

"Take your brother," his father commanded.

Dean rushed to his brother's side and grabbed Sam, then ran out to the front yard while John hunted down Azazel. Dean vaguely remembered how his dad had promised Mary that he would never hunt while he was raising the family. Dean supposed that it didn't really matter anymore. For Dean it was all a blur. Most of his life was a blur until he went to middle school in Lawrence staying at his dad's friend's house- his name was Bobby Singer.

John was in a rage for the next few years. All that mattered was hunting down Azazel. At first it was a good thing, moving around from city to city. Dean needed it because he had lost his mother. He didn't want to stew in misery, even as a five year old. John realized that it was unfair for Sam, who at five showed how precocious he really was by explaining a simple geometry problem that Dean, several years ahead of him, didn't appear to understand.

That's how Dean ended up in Lawrence, Kansas staying with Bobby Singer. John wasn't sentimental and he just told Dean to take care of Sam while he was gone. Dean had made it a promise, a vow, an oath. His life's mission was to take care of Sam at this point.

Dean didn't enjoy school at all. Actually, he didn't enjoy it until he met Castiel.

They were at recess and Warren, the school bully and the most popular boy was picking on Castiel. He pushed Castiel into the dirt and Castiel had tears in his eyes. Warren was angry because Castiel had been talking to Minnie, Warren's "girlfriend". Castiel was spluttering, trying to explain in a way-too-eloquent-for-a-thirteen-year-old way that he wasn't interested in Minnie.

"Warren- please, _stop_," said Castiel, trying not to sound like he was begging.

Dean was sitting on the sidewalk, and he spotted Warren when he pushed Castiel into the dirt. Dean looked at Castiel's mud caked face and didn't feel pity. He felt angry. Dean marched over to Warren and said, "Hey, Warren."

Warren turned over to Dean and glared at him, but not before Dean punched him in the face. Warren fell over into the mud beside Castiel, and Dean stuck out his hand for Castiel to get up. Dean wasn't paying attention, and Warren had already gotten up. He punched Dean in the stomach. It really hurt, and Dean keeled over. He hadn't felt that much pain since falling down the stairs at Bobby's.

"Warren, you jerk," Dean said, sneering and kicked Warren in the leg.

A teacher, Mrs. Henderson walked over to break up the fight.

"Dean," she said loudly, "You should be ashamed of yourself!"

"Warren started it," said Dean, frowning at the teacher.

"Both of you go to the nurse, and when you come back a detention will be waiting for you," said Mrs. Henderson, extremely annoyed.

Dean slouched off to the nurses' without looking at either Warren or Castiel.

Miss Kate was a pretty and sweet nurse, and she hastily filled a bag with ice and put it on Dean's stomach where a bruise was already starting to form. Warren was sulking in a corner and trying to refuse help- but he eventually accepted an ice pack to the face. Then Castiel walked in, and Dean glanced over at Castiel. And then he looked again, this time more interested.

"I'm Dean," said Dean, "Dean Winchester."

"Thanks," said Castiel, shyly, "I'm Castiel."

Dean's emerald eyes met Castiel's and Dean suddenly felt hurt. He thought about Warren punching him in the stomach and how that hurt. This was a different kind of hurt. Castiel blinked quickly and stared at his feet, "I'm really sorry, Dean. I should have fought back."

"It's okay, Cas," said Dean, "Really, I'm your friend- that's what friends do."

"Friend?" asked Castiel, a little confused.

"Yeah, ever heard of them?" asked Dean.

Castiel just tilted his head a little to the side and scrutinized Dean. Julia probably wouldn't like him. That was okay though, because Dean was his friend and not Julia's. Dean was Castiel's friend. He tried not to look too excited about that, but he smiled.

"We better get back to class," said Dean, "I'll see you in detention."

They were thirteen and in eighth grade at the time, and their friendship bloomed easily. It was a little too easy for Castiel's liking, but he accepted it. Castiel and Dean became _best_ friends the moment they were kicked out of class when they were whispering about the homework.

"What page are we on?" whispered Dean to Castiel.

"I think ninety five," Castiel whispered back.

"Do you two want to finish your conversation outside?" the teacher hollered, red in the face.

Castiel looked extremely confused, especially since he was never yelled at. He pointed at himself and Dean, "Us?" he asked. Dean nodded, trying not to laugh.

They scooted out of their chair and went into the hallway, where both of them went into hysterics laughing so hard. It was absurd how angry their teacher was. Dean was holding onto his sides and he sank to the floor with tears in his eyes. Dean and Castiel had never been separated, and they felt as if they had always been friends.

And when they were both sitting down, Dean sidled up to his new found friend and looked at his profile. He smiled slightly. How could anyone like Dean though? Dean looked at himself as kind of stupid and not refined. Castiel was wealthy, smart and really good. A good person and Dean… well, Dean was Dean and he was nothing like Castiel. Except, he forgot to look in their hearts because their hearts were the same, and that was all that would ever matter…

"Cas?" asked Dean.

"Yes, Dean?"

"Nothing," said Dean, "I just wanted to be sure you're there."

For a moment Castiel remembered who he was, and he told Dean, "I'll always be here."

Before they could revel in the awkwardness of Castiel's proclamation Mr. Carnell walked out to continue to yell at them, and when he was finished they looked at each other and shared a knowing look of friendship. That look when two people who know each other well, look into each other's eyes and just know what the other person is thinking.

It's better than sex, really- that someone knows how you feel, and that you're not alone.

On the first day of their freshman year, Castiel found Dean sitting by himself on a bench. Class had already started, but Castiel didn't really care. Dean would always be more important than menial tasks in class.

"Hey Dean," said Castiel, sitting beside him.

"Hey Cas," said Dean, very quietly.

"Is everything okay?" asked Castiel.

"Yeah," said Dean, but he didn't sound very convincing. He wasn't sure he wanted to sound very convincing. Cas would be the only one who understood him anyway, so why really care if he didn't believe Dean trying to pretend he was okay.

They were quiet and a tear slid down Dean's nose. Castiel leaned over and wiped it off with his hand. Castiel didn't bother to wipe his hand.

"I feel like I'm losing everything," said Dean, "My dad, he came back and he was yelling at me. He said I wasn't taking good enough care of my little brother, Sammy. You know Sammy. I feel like Sam's going away, and he's spending way too much time with this bitch named Ruby-

"Ruby Tiran?" asked Castiel, looking horrified.

"Yeah," said Dean, "Crazy rich melodramatic bitch."

"You forgot selfish and marginally stupid," said Castiel, smiling a little, "I'm sorry she's recruited your brother into her psychotic gang like clique."

Dean appreciated that Castiel didn't bother sugarcoating everything for him.

"We'll be friends forever, won't we Cas?" asked Dean, very childishly. He wanted to take the words back as soon as he said them.

Castiel acknowledged, even though he hated it, that maybe they would be more than friends someday, something different. He kept that to himself. He shook his head at Dean, and Dean looked crestfallen and hurt. "No," said Castiel, "Even longer."

Dean didn't regret asking anymore, because even though he didn't know it at first but that was the answer that he had wanted to hear.

"Come on," said Castiel, "Maybe we can talk it out with Sam."

Dean gave him a face.

"Yeah I know, you don't like talking about your feelings," said Castiel.

"What if I lose him?" asked Dean. He looked worried. There were already worry lines written on his face. His eyes looked hollow and lost, and Castiel felt something in his body ache. It was in that moment that Castiel realized how much Dean meant to him.

"Sam met this girl and I kind of hate her but I don't want to lose him."

"You won't lose him," said Castiel, and he was sure of this. He felt sure because, why on Earth would anyone ever want to leave someone like Dean?

"What should I say?" asked Dean.

"Well," said Castiel, "I'm not a girl, but I think you should tell him how you feel. Maybe we should just invite Ruby to the nearest cliff and push her off. That could be a fast and easy solution."

Dean laughed, "Cas, if only…"

Castiel dragged Dean to class before they got in trouble for skipping on their first day of high school. It was a huge school with two floors, two hundred classrooms, a mini theater, a main stage, an Olympic pool, a diving pool, a kiddie pool, a football field, a softball field, a baseball field, three gyms, a huge atrium, a bookstore, a library, a media lab, a courtyard, a lunchroom, and more.

They had compared their schedule and luckily, even on a block schedule, they had two classes together and study hall. Dean tried to ignore that Castiel was in smart people classes, and the only classes they had together were the ones that Castiel had to take. Gym and biology, biology only because there wasn't enough space in the honors class, other than that Castiel was already taking classes for sophomores.

Most people start noticing the opposite sex when they're in second grade, not usually in the hormonal way until about sixth grade. That's when everything just goes wrong. Dean hadn't really noticed girls because he had spent most of his time with Castiel. Castiel didn't notice most girls because he was besotted with Dean. As much as Castiel was annoyed, he never found it in him to argue.

Everything was fine when they walked into biology that Wednesday morning.

Everything was fine until the teacher paired up Dean with a lab partner. That said partner was a fairly pretty girl named Lisa Braden. And God help Castiel, Dean _blushed. _Dean appeared to be very interested in whatever it was Lisa had to say. Lisa was dressed in a sundress and it left nothing to the imagination- and Castiel was sure he didn't imagine Dean's eyes raking up and down Lisa.

Castiel's stomach sank when he heard his name read aloud.

"Castiel Ashworth and Zachariah Kennedy," said Mrs. Whatever-Her-Name-Was, Castiel was too irritated to care. With a mournful expression he slouched over to the table with Zachariah who was actually smirking at him. He remembered Zach as a generally snarky kid in eighth grade. Zach had the frame of an old man, but the face of a child. It made Castiel uncomfortable.

"So I guess your boyfriend's breaking up with you?" asked Zach, smiling cheerfully at Castiel. Castiel looked confused, and then glared.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he said in a huff. Zach watched Castiel's eyes. Castiel never bothered to build a wall like Dean did, so his emotions were very apparent.

"Don't worry," said Zach, "Winchester over there is in love with you."

"_I don't know what you're talking about," _said Castiel, and he twitched violently, breaking a beaker in his hand. Blood began to seep out of his hand, and Castiel felt suddenly ridiculous. Dean didn't belong to him, what kind of friend was he if he couldn't support Dean no matter what? Sure he was giving some attention to Lisa, but that was his lab partner, right?

Castiel grimaced and hurried to the nurse's, leaving Zach with a stunned expression. Castiel didn't see Dean walking after him. He jogged up to Castiel's side.

"Hey, Cas," said Dean, catching his breath.

Castiel didn't say anything.

"If Zach's being a bitch to you I can beat him up if you want," said Dean, his voice cracking a little. He smiled at Castiel, but Castiel glared at him.

"I don't need you to protect me, Dean," snapped Castiel, "I'm not ten anymore."

Dean turned silent, but kept walking with Castiel. "Did I do something?" he asked quietly.

And Castiel's heart melted. He would never in a million years want Dean to feel guilt for anything he did to him. Dean was his friend, and if he wanted Lisa Braden- he would help him get her because that's what friends did.

"No," said Castiel, "I'm sorry. I'm just anxious about this first day."

"At least we're not alone though," said Dean cheerfully, "We've got each other."


End file.
